Square Pancakes Anyone?
A few mornings after we moved into our new house, David asked if we could make square pancakes. And so Luke did.
Why did he ask for square pancakes?
Well, one day before we left the states we were eating waffles and we were talking about how our waffle maker in the states was square shaped but our waffle maker in Nicaragua was circle shaped. Then when we were back in Nicaragua he must have remembered that conversation because he asked for square pancakes.
It made me think about how his little world might seem like a "square pancake" right now. Going from one world to a completely different world in a matter of a plane ride can do that to you.
Before we came back to Nicaragua we were intentional about talking with our kids about the changes ahead. It was neat to hear David come up with similarities and differences between the U.S. and Nicaragua.
And now that we are here we're consciously and subconsciously making more comparisons. Not only between the U.S. and Nicaragua but the Nicaragua before and the Nicaragua now.
Like...
But the biggest change for our family has been our community here.
While there is still a core group of people we have known, loved, and worked alongside for years, there are also some big holes in our hearts and lives. Some of our best friends left Nicaragua when we did last year. We knew in theory that they were gone but now it's reality that they are not here. You know the kind of friends you call when your car breaks down or you need a ride to the airport or you have a spontaneous craving for the McDonald's breakfast menu right after church or you just want to watch a silly movie on a Saturday night ("know what I mean?")
One of the families was actually like family to us and lived across the highway. They would invite us in for holidays, pool parties, a glass of water in between contractions while we were walking around the neighborhood during labor, etc. I also lived with them six months before Luke and I got married. They aren't here anymore but their house is. A reminder of wonderful memories and times of laughter and refreshment in their home.
Another family that just left a few days before we got back is a family whose house we moved into. I think about the afternoons our boys (plus Emily) would blow bubbles, play with blocks, eat popsicles or splash in a kiddie pool. Our houses were close enough that we could pass kids back and forth over the wall. And our baby monitor would reach to their house making our date night exchanges work out great!
So, it's different. It's a hard and sad kind of different. Sometimes it feels like a I-wish-it-wasn't-like-this kind of different.
But change is part of life. Some change is fun and other change is not so fun. And yet through it all, I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit's daily reminder that He is here. He is here in the change. He is here in the grief over friends gone. He is here in the floundering attempts to adapt to a different Nicaragua as a different family than when we left.
And He is here with others who are also going through goodbyes. He is here with others who are also adapting to change (it's not just those who return back to the U.S. who are going through change). I'm so thankful for a God who sees all things and knows all things. I've been reminded that He is the ultimate creator of relationships and He is not standing aloof. He cares and He knows.
I don't believe He wants me to stay in the sadness and discouragement. But to acknowledge the grief of past relationships, praise Him for the wonderful times, but also trust Him for a new season of people He will put in my path as well as renewed friendships.
It's a little bit tricky to develop new relationships on the mission field. I would say probably one of the number one factors being: how long that person/family plans to stay. That's an indication of maybe how far I'll allow my heart to be open to their friendship. Sounds terrible but it's quite true.
And yet, I just have to say that I (and my husband) were absolutely astounded when a small group in the states welcomed us in fully knowing that we were only going to be there for a little less than a year. Really? That completely floored us. And there was nothing fake about any of the four couples in the group. They genuinely wanted to get to know us and share life together for that short period of time. What an amazing testimony to God's goodness in our lives and an encouragement to be bold to do the same.
And so with square pancakes, changes, transitions and the whole lot of it, I'm reminded to...
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Corinthians 5:16-18
Why did he ask for square pancakes?
Well, one day before we left the states we were eating waffles and we were talking about how our waffle maker in the states was square shaped but our waffle maker in Nicaragua was circle shaped. Then when we were back in Nicaragua he must have remembered that conversation because he asked for square pancakes.
It made me think about how his little world might seem like a "square pancake" right now. Going from one world to a completely different world in a matter of a plane ride can do that to you.
Before we came back to Nicaragua we were intentional about talking with our kids about the changes ahead. It was neat to hear David come up with similarities and differences between the U.S. and Nicaragua.
Like...
- New businesses and buildings have sprung up.
- Roads have been improved.
- Some roads have worsened.
- Restaurants have closed or moved.
- Grocery stores have been rearranged.
But the biggest change for our family has been our community here.
While there is still a core group of people we have known, loved, and worked alongside for years, there are also some big holes in our hearts and lives. Some of our best friends left Nicaragua when we did last year. We knew in theory that they were gone but now it's reality that they are not here. You know the kind of friends you call when your car breaks down or you need a ride to the airport or you have a spontaneous craving for the McDonald's breakfast menu right after church or you just want to watch a silly movie on a Saturday night ("know what I mean?")
One of the families was actually like family to us and lived across the highway. They would invite us in for holidays, pool parties, a glass of water in between contractions while we were walking around the neighborhood during labor, etc. I also lived with them six months before Luke and I got married. They aren't here anymore but their house is. A reminder of wonderful memories and times of laughter and refreshment in their home.
Another family that just left a few days before we got back is a family whose house we moved into. I think about the afternoons our boys (plus Emily) would blow bubbles, play with blocks, eat popsicles or splash in a kiddie pool. Our houses were close enough that we could pass kids back and forth over the wall. And our baby monitor would reach to their house making our date night exchanges work out great!
So, it's different. It's a hard and sad kind of different. Sometimes it feels like a I-wish-it-wasn't-like-this kind of different.
But change is part of life. Some change is fun and other change is not so fun. And yet through it all, I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit's daily reminder that He is here. He is here in the change. He is here in the grief over friends gone. He is here in the floundering attempts to adapt to a different Nicaragua as a different family than when we left.
And He is here with others who are also going through goodbyes. He is here with others who are also adapting to change (it's not just those who return back to the U.S. who are going through change). I'm so thankful for a God who sees all things and knows all things. I've been reminded that He is the ultimate creator of relationships and He is not standing aloof. He cares and He knows.
I don't believe He wants me to stay in the sadness and discouragement. But to acknowledge the grief of past relationships, praise Him for the wonderful times, but also trust Him for a new season of people He will put in my path as well as renewed friendships.
It's a little bit tricky to develop new relationships on the mission field. I would say probably one of the number one factors being: how long that person/family plans to stay. That's an indication of maybe how far I'll allow my heart to be open to their friendship. Sounds terrible but it's quite true.
And yet, I just have to say that I (and my husband) were absolutely astounded when a small group in the states welcomed us in fully knowing that we were only going to be there for a little less than a year. Really? That completely floored us. And there was nothing fake about any of the four couples in the group. They genuinely wanted to get to know us and share life together for that short period of time. What an amazing testimony to God's goodness in our lives and an encouragement to be bold to do the same.
And so with square pancakes, changes, transitions and the whole lot of it, I'm reminded to...
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Corinthians 5:16-18
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