Death in September
This month started with death and that theme has continued throughout. We awoke on September first to a message that our brother-in-law’s sister had taken her life. And just like that our hearts sank to the floor. The pain and heartache and shock and anger her family was feeling seemed to physically weigh on our shoulders as we prayed without ceasing. Crying out to God for mercy and comfort and peace for this broken and hurting family.
As we processed death and what’s more, suicide, our spirits were heavy. Our minds were constantly thinking of our loved ones walking this road of grief. Saying goodbye to a beloved sister in no way, shape or form anyone ever imagined they would have to.
Then, the next day we heard word from a family in our church that their son, Joshua, was put on hospice care. This family, so hospitable, caring, loving, and giving - now facing the imminent death of their beloved son. His sister is in our young adult’s group and is so very close to him. Our kids got to spend a little bit of time with him this summer watching Clifford the Big Red Dog next to his bedside. And now he was on his deathbed. More prayers for this family. Prayers of comfort and wisdom and God’s timing.
The day after that we found out that a man from our church was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. And he wasn’t just some man from our church. Tim was a husband, a father, a brother, a son, a soldier, a friend. He was our daughter’s Sunday school teacher twice a month this summer. Later I would find out that he had journaled prayers for our son David (who was in his Sunday School class the year before). He was an outspoken, brutally honest, radically generous, and heartwarmingly dynamic human being. One I didn’t know super well but what I knew of him was this: he loved Jesus and he genuinely loved others. As the news came, our hearts broke for his wife. For his little girls. For his family and those closest to him. Our spirits again led to constant prayer for comfort, for strength and hope in this storm.
A few weeks later we learned that Joshua had passed away. Our hearts were sad for his family as we mourned with them and upheld them in prayer. Gone. No more waiting or wondering. He was with Jesus now. But it hurts so bad to say goodbye to those we love.
A few days after this news, one of us was going to say something to our kids and they asked “Who died?”
And so we held our breath. What other news was coming this month? We were only halfway through the month and it had been one of the heaviest ones we’ve experienced.
On a Friday morning around 11:15 am it hit even closer to home for us. Our niece, almost three, fell from a second story window in her home onto a concrete sidewalk. In the first hour of the incident we were unsure if Chloe would live. Our minds and hearts raced with adrenaline and desperate prayers for her precious life. Please, Jesus. Spare her. Not death. Don’t let this end in death. Hundreds and thousands of people were praying within minutes. By God’s great mercy, she would live. Her tiny body would sustain damage to her skull and clavicle but praise Jesus, not her brain. She would recover and we all continue to rejoice at how miraculously our God answers prayer. She was at death’s door and He protected her. What could have ended in great tragedy, ended in great rejoicing. This little girl’s family will not soon forget the trauma and amazing protection of Jesus over her life.
This morning was Tim’s memorial service. As I sat there feeling numb and breathless, I couldn’t help but think: What if that was me? I don’t mean what if I died? I’m certain I will be more alive than I ever have been, enjoying perfect peace and amazing bliss in my Savior’s presence. No, I mean: What if that was me standing there forcing my shaking voice to cooperate and speak about my husband, the love of my life? What if those were my girls sharing memories of their dad, now gone? I honestly don’t know how I’d do it. That was the hardest part for me today. Watching those young girls talk about their beloved daddy, crying for love and grief over him.
As I washed dishes this evening I had this thought: Maybe what’s so hard about death is that we feel like we don’t deserve it. Tim didn’t deserve it. He was a dedicated father, loving husband, a fiercely driven follower of Christ. And yet, as I thought further I realized that it’s not that we don’t deserve death; it’s that we’re not designed for death. Our souls are eternal. We were meant to live forever. When God bent down and breathed life into the first man, He got down and personal with the dust. He formed us with His own hands. Designed us for communion with Him. For life eternal. But we messed that design up with sin. So death entered the picture. I remember years ago when a student of ours was killed in a tragic car crash, a missionary said this to his grieving friends and classmates: “You know, I don’t like it when someone says ‘Well, death is part of God’s plan and there was a purpose in that accident.’ Because death was never part of God’s plan! Death is a result of sin.”
And so I reflect on that today. We’re not designed for death. We’re designed for life. That’s why death and tragedy and loss hurt so much. Deep in our souls is a longing to be alive and to have life abundant, to be with our Maker forever. Death tries to kill that intrinsic design and desire in us. But death doesn’t get the final word. Jesus does. And he conquered sin and death. For good. For all. All who will receive Him and love Him and want to be with Him forever.
And so I’m praising Jesus that death was arrested and my life began. My life doesn’t just begin in eternity. It begins today and it goes on into eternity. His Kingdom has come today not at some future time.
On Sunday we’ll attend Joshua’s funeral. My heart and mind keep drawing strength from the Spirit of God who assures me that He is our comfort and everything we need. As we continue to pray for his family and grieve with them we rejoice in the great hope that we have: that his spirit is with Jesus and that when Jesus comes again his body will rise to meet his Lord in the air.
As we processed death and what’s more, suicide, our spirits were heavy. Our minds were constantly thinking of our loved ones walking this road of grief. Saying goodbye to a beloved sister in no way, shape or form anyone ever imagined they would have to.
Then, the next day we heard word from a family in our church that their son, Joshua, was put on hospice care. This family, so hospitable, caring, loving, and giving - now facing the imminent death of their beloved son. His sister is in our young adult’s group and is so very close to him. Our kids got to spend a little bit of time with him this summer watching Clifford the Big Red Dog next to his bedside. And now he was on his deathbed. More prayers for this family. Prayers of comfort and wisdom and God’s timing.
The day after that we found out that a man from our church was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. And he wasn’t just some man from our church. Tim was a husband, a father, a brother, a son, a soldier, a friend. He was our daughter’s Sunday school teacher twice a month this summer. Later I would find out that he had journaled prayers for our son David (who was in his Sunday School class the year before). He was an outspoken, brutally honest, radically generous, and heartwarmingly dynamic human being. One I didn’t know super well but what I knew of him was this: he loved Jesus and he genuinely loved others. As the news came, our hearts broke for his wife. For his little girls. For his family and those closest to him. Our spirits again led to constant prayer for comfort, for strength and hope in this storm.
A few weeks later we learned that Joshua had passed away. Our hearts were sad for his family as we mourned with them and upheld them in prayer. Gone. No more waiting or wondering. He was with Jesus now. But it hurts so bad to say goodbye to those we love.
A few days after this news, one of us was going to say something to our kids and they asked “Who died?”
And so we held our breath. What other news was coming this month? We were only halfway through the month and it had been one of the heaviest ones we’ve experienced.
On a Friday morning around 11:15 am it hit even closer to home for us. Our niece, almost three, fell from a second story window in her home onto a concrete sidewalk. In the first hour of the incident we were unsure if Chloe would live. Our minds and hearts raced with adrenaline and desperate prayers for her precious life. Please, Jesus. Spare her. Not death. Don’t let this end in death. Hundreds and thousands of people were praying within minutes. By God’s great mercy, she would live. Her tiny body would sustain damage to her skull and clavicle but praise Jesus, not her brain. She would recover and we all continue to rejoice at how miraculously our God answers prayer. She was at death’s door and He protected her. What could have ended in great tragedy, ended in great rejoicing. This little girl’s family will not soon forget the trauma and amazing protection of Jesus over her life.
This morning was Tim’s memorial service. As I sat there feeling numb and breathless, I couldn’t help but think: What if that was me? I don’t mean what if I died? I’m certain I will be more alive than I ever have been, enjoying perfect peace and amazing bliss in my Savior’s presence. No, I mean: What if that was me standing there forcing my shaking voice to cooperate and speak about my husband, the love of my life? What if those were my girls sharing memories of their dad, now gone? I honestly don’t know how I’d do it. That was the hardest part for me today. Watching those young girls talk about their beloved daddy, crying for love and grief over him.
As I washed dishes this evening I had this thought: Maybe what’s so hard about death is that we feel like we don’t deserve it. Tim didn’t deserve it. He was a dedicated father, loving husband, a fiercely driven follower of Christ. And yet, as I thought further I realized that it’s not that we don’t deserve death; it’s that we’re not designed for death. Our souls are eternal. We were meant to live forever. When God bent down and breathed life into the first man, He got down and personal with the dust. He formed us with His own hands. Designed us for communion with Him. For life eternal. But we messed that design up with sin. So death entered the picture. I remember years ago when a student of ours was killed in a tragic car crash, a missionary said this to his grieving friends and classmates: “You know, I don’t like it when someone says ‘Well, death is part of God’s plan and there was a purpose in that accident.’ Because death was never part of God’s plan! Death is a result of sin.”
And so I reflect on that today. We’re not designed for death. We’re designed for life. That’s why death and tragedy and loss hurt so much. Deep in our souls is a longing to be alive and to have life abundant, to be with our Maker forever. Death tries to kill that intrinsic design and desire in us. But death doesn’t get the final word. Jesus does. And he conquered sin and death. For good. For all. All who will receive Him and love Him and want to be with Him forever.
And so I’m praising Jesus that death was arrested and my life began. My life doesn’t just begin in eternity. It begins today and it goes on into eternity. His Kingdom has come today not at some future time.
On Sunday we’ll attend Joshua’s funeral. My heart and mind keep drawing strength from the Spirit of God who assures me that He is our comfort and everything we need. As we continue to pray for his family and grieve with them we rejoice in the great hope that we have: that his spirit is with Jesus and that when Jesus comes again his body will rise to meet his Lord in the air.
Comments
Post a Comment